One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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