Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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