He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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