is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
