i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
ttyl tear gas
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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