my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
