In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
