If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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