whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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