soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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