They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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