I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
