Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
