as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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