I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
