Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
