I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
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