She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Maybe he injected his testicle?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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