Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
