thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
the night ended with taco bell and tears
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
