I am puke
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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