i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
