I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
