i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
