once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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