do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
