apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
