Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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