You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
