Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
