I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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