New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
