hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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