The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
3pm strippers are depressing
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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