I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
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