Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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