It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
