fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
