oh god the rape fog is back!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
