I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
