It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
