We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
