Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
