Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
