C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
