The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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