so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
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Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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