absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Where is the hickey?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
