There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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