dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
and you fell through a lawn chair
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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