Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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