You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
