i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
So vagazzling was a success
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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