I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
