Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
