I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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