wake up i wanna do it froggy style
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
