Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
