Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
