what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
