i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
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I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
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Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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